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My father would have enjoyed his memorial service immensely. The Unitarian church he attended for nearly 50 years was filled with family, friends, neighbors, and colleauges. It included music played by his former guitar teacher, dance, and a moving rendition of Amazing Grace sung by his grandson Mario accompanied on the piano by his niece, Heather. Each of his children spoke in turn about their love for him. The words I chose to share are included here.
My father had a gift for laughter. Most people laugh in response to something funny or at the expense of others. Frank took laughter to an entirely different level using it to create celebrations.
A typical scenario would involve one of his children recounting a story about one of his grandchildren. The moment any hint of the child’s creativity or irreverence surfaced it would begin. He would first chuckle to himself. Then, as if to clarify what he found so amusing, he would repeat the storyline that got him started and laugh even harder. As his laughter increased, he could only manage to repeat small sound bites from the original story. Soon everyone present was infected with laughter. When it subsided, what remained was joy and the anticipation of what would get Frank started again.
He had created from nothing a true celebration to honor attributes he admired in others, creativity and irreverence.
Imagine growing up in a family where the reward for creative thinking or behavior was a room full of people exhausted from joyous laughter. I have never met another person who shares this gift and it is my father’s laughter I will remember and miss most.
Knowing my father well, I am sure he would have jumped at the opportunity to speak at his own memorial service. In honor of that wish, I share with you his words taken from the last two paragraphs of his book, “Let it be a Dance”.
I feel most alive when my life is:
Smooth as a fox trot
Exhilarating as a waltz
Energetic as the lindy hop
Lively as a samba
Romantic as a rumba
Bouncy as a meringue
Racy as a quick step
Pulsating as a mambo and
Passionate as a tango
One final thought; (my father writes)
As to the possibility that there is an afterlife, I go along with Woody Allen whose view is: “I do not believe in the afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.”
On the chance that there is a hereafter, I plan to take along an extra pair of dancing shoes, just in case there’s a big band bash happening
above or below.
As our family prepared for this service we searched every inch of Frank’s home for his dance shoes. They were not to be found and we all know who has them. Dance in peace my dear father.
