Good weather this week has resulted in great progress on the River House project. We are under a roof now, albeit just the sheathing. Still, it is a big milestone and means that work can progress inside even during inclement weather. Much of the building supplies have been moved under cover to protect them from the elements and most of the temporary internal reinforcements have been removed which makes it far easier to visualize the final space.

Before leaving Minnesota on my recent visit, I helped my brother to clear out my mother’s effects from the senior living center where she spent the last few years of her life. Among them was her Certificate of Naturalization, the only document I found which had both her picture and signature. The later is worth close inspection, as it demonstrates both her artistic expression and precise execution, characteristics that were present in every aspect of her life.

In order to finalize plans for electrical and plumbing infrastructure at the River House, I had to select a washer and dryer. We will be using a heat pump style ventless dryer. This type of machine runs off a 120V 15amp circuit compared to our last dryer which used 240V 40amp circuit (roughly five times less electricity). More importantly, the unit does not require an outside vent. Conventional dryers exhaust approximately 200 cubic feet of conditioned air every minute. This is a an additional huge waste of energy, especially during the summer and winter months not to mention an additional penetration through the building envelope. In a matter of a few years, I predict that heat pump ventless dryers will be a requirement for all new homes if not all new appliance sales.

I could not help myself with the title of today’s post even though Boxing Day was actually yesterday. Kyle is taking this week off for vacation and I worked with him this afternoon to box in the HVAC trunk line that feeds conditioned air to the house. We used 3/4″ stock and pocket hole screws to minimize the encroachment into his living space and were both quite pleased with the results. By midday, I was overcome with a severe headache and body aches and opted to return home. I tested negative for Covid and believe I might be suffering from food poisoning based on my other symptoms.

Angela Flerida Calabria, died at her residence in Minnetonka, Minnesota on December 23, 2022, at the age of 94, after succumbing to pneumonia. She was born in Guayaquil, Ecuador, the daughter of Jose Canelos and Delia Benavides, who immigrated to the United States via Ellis Island when she was a teenager. Angela was bilingual in Spanish and English. She initially worked as a silkscreen artist in New York City and continued that career for over 25 years part-time, while raising four children with her husband of 54 years, Dr. Frank M. Calabria, Ph.D.

Angela met Frank at a dance studio in Brooklyn, NY, where he was an instructor. They were married a year later and traveled through Europe on their honeymoon. The couple moved to Albany, NY in 1956 and to Schenectady in 1966, when Frank became a Professor of Psychology at Union College. The couple was renowned for their dance performances including folk dancing, ballroom dancing, and their favorite, Argentine Tango. Angela and Frank were treasured members of the Capital Region ballroom dance and Albany Tango Society communities.

Angela was also a talented artist and sculptor, working in various mediums, including clay, wood, metal, plaster, lead, and fabric. She studied the art of Chinese brush painting with Gu LeFu and sculpture under Robert Blood. Angela was also an accomplished gardener and transformed her Schenectady residence on Wendell Avenue, into an authentic Japanese garden, which was frequently featured in the GE Plot Home and Garden tours. Her residential housing layout sketch was featured in the book “Images of America -Schenectady’s General Electric Realty Plot”. Angela was also an active member of the Unitarian Universalist Society of Schenectady where she served on the Women’s Alliance and Wellspring Committees for many years. An avid tennis enthusiast, she played well into her seventies and was known for her tenacity.

Angela relocated to Minnetonka, MN in 2019. There she danced two or three times per week, with the Tango Society of Minnesota, up until weeks before her death. At the age of 93, Angela performed an intricate Argentine tango at the Mall of America for hundreds of fellow dancers and onlookers. Within the Minnesota dance community, she was recognized as a “Tango Treasure.”

Angela was predeceased by her husband, Frank Calabria. She is survived by her elder sister Maruja Coddington and younger brother James Canelos, four children; Carl Calabria, Mark Calabria, Alissa Quinn, and Mayela Harris, and by her nine grandchildren; Kyle, John, Mario, Nicolai, Rory, Rachel, Maya, Sophia, and Rose. She is also beloved by her in-laws Juanita Canelos, Robert Coddington, Jeanine Calabria, Marie Calabria, Stephen Harris, countless cousins, extended family, and friends. 

Two memorial ceremonies will be held to honor a beautiful life; the first in Minnetonka, MN and the second at the Unitarian Universalist Society of Schenectady, NY with times and dates to be announced. The family would like to express their deep gratitude for the support and care received from Sunrise of Minnetonka, Home Instead of Minnesota, and Park Nicollet Hospice of Minnesota. Donations made in Angela’s honor will be graciously accepted by the Unitarian Universalist Society of Schenectady, 1221 Wendell Avenue, Schenectady, NY 12308, or Albany Tango Society, c/o Kevin Magee, 170 Central Avenue, Troy, NY 12180.

With all that has transpired this month, I have not had time to create our annual holiday card. I thought I would dedicate this post to a virtual version.

This year has been a most eventful one for the Calabria Clan.

Maya graduated from Olin College with a degree in Robotic Engineering and accepted a position at Formlabs as a Test Engineer. She recently injured her shoulder while mountain biking which has put a damper on her main passions; rock climbing and Latin dancing.

Nicolai took a leave of absence from teaching middle school social studies to train for the 2022 Amputee Soccer World Cup with a qualifier tournament in Mexico and the main event in Istanbul. He captained the team to its best-ever finish and scored 8 goals in 7 games. The entire family traveled to Turkey to watch him play.

Kyle was promoted to Senior Data Engineer at hims & hers where he has been working for almost two years. He has been renovating the basement of his home in Medford, a project which included adding air conditioning and switching from natural gas to all-electric appliances.

After 9 years as Executive Director of Open Table, Jeanine decided it was time to try something new. She timed her resignation so she could attend the World Cup with Nico and become more involved with the River House project. She is also about to publish her first book, “A Taste of Stories.”

I am now semi-retired, working in a part-time consulting capacity for a small number of local high-tech companies. The remainder of my time has been fully consumed with the design and construction supervision of our new home on the Sudbury River. I have also been helping Kyle with his renovation project on most Saturdays.

While in Turkey, Jeanine and I traveled to the Cappadocia, Pamukkale, and Selcuk regions where we enjoyed great hiking and the most amazing geological formations and archeological ruins. Jeanine spent time in Belgium with a long-time friend and I enjoyed some downtime in Puerto Vallarta.

We are thankful that everyone is healthy and happy and wish the same for you and yours in the coming year.

I was fortunate to catch a very early flight back to Massachusetts and arrived by noon. Maya and Nicolai picked me up at the airport and we rendezvoused with Jeanine at the River House. The kids have not seen the build recently and there was a lot to take in. We coaxed Jeanine up a ladder to the second floor where she was able to enjoy views from the aviary (her future office) for the first time. Kyle joined us shortly after we returned to the Road House where I shared my experience of the last week and we remembered Angela. It was a cathartic conversation and brought a real sense of closure to me.

In the evening we were joined by our close friend Aliza and her son Winn for Raclette, a Swiss^[dish, also popular in the other Alpine countries, based on heating cheese and scraping off the melted part, typically over boiled potatoes. Aliza’s Bouche de Noel and chocolate cream pie made for a delicious finale. Later, Nicolai prepared dough for our traditional Zeppole Balls but the crew crashed before they could be fried and will have to wait until tomorrow.

My mom passed away this morning. I am grateful that I was by her side, holding her hand when the time came.

While I have been in Minnesota, Jeanine has been my eyes and ears on the ground at the River house build site. Each day she sends several photos to apprise me of progress. Today she also filled in for Santa, delivering Christmas presents to all the people working in the cold to bring our dream house to reality. Predicted torrential rains and the holiday will suspend further progress until next Tuesday.

I spent from 7 am to 7 pm with my mother today. She is resting comfortably but is no longer able to eat or drink. I am certain, however, that she can still hear and understand me so I read her the cards and messages that continue to arrive and tell her what all her loved ones are up to. For a change of pace, I also put on one of her Argentine Tango dance mix CDs (at low volume) until a hospice nurse suggested something more soothing. Naturally, I keep her up to speed on the status of the River House build which was always a topic of interest when we spoke by phone in recent months.. It is apparent to me that her time has arrived and my only wish now is that she pass quickly and peacefully. I hope and will try to be at her side when that moment arrives.

I spent the entire day with my mother in her room at the senior living center where she has been a resident for the last three years. She is no longer able to communicate verbally because she can not generate enough air pressure to speak intelligibly. She tried writing but this proved equally difficult. Instead, I asked her to show me what she wanted using her hands. This proved both effective and poignant. I could not help but think that she was dancing with her hands. Based on her gestures, I was able to determine that she wanted a thread and needle to sew something. Sadly, I judged it unsafe to give her something that sharp. I encouraged her to sew in the air and she was happy to do so for several minutes more.

As much as I am enjoying being in Minnesota to visit my mother and brother’s family, I would be just as happy if they lived someplace warmer. When I joined Marie (my sister-in-law) for her morning walk with Luna (the adorable family poodle), the temperature was two below zero. When we re-entered the house after our arctic expedition, my glasses steamed over and then gradually cleared up. Tomorrow morning we are looking forward to double-digit negative temperatures, snow, and winds steadily increasing to 25 mph.

My mother’s condition continues its gradual decline. We have now put in place around-the-clock, in-room care in addition to the visits from hospice staff. Although it has been emotionally draining, I am grateful for the opportunity to spend these last days with my mother. It has allowed me to express my love for her, to say all that needed to be said, and to ensure that her departure is a peaceful and dignified one. It has also been an honor to serve as the conduit for so many messages of love and admiration from family and friends who cannot be here.

Maya shared this photo of her UU chalice with a candle lit for her Nana.

I remain in Minnetonka and spent the better part of the day with my mother. While she remains as sharp as ever, it has become very difficult for her to speak. She still enjoys listening to me read messages from friends and family and looking at photographs of loved ones. Mark is spoiling her with homemade purees which she prefers over all other food. My sister Mayela, herself a retired hospice caregiver, is guiding all of us through this very difficult time while my sister Alissa is handling all of the legal, financial, and agency management work that must be done.

Jeanine has been my emotional support pillar and has taken over day-to-day monitoring of the River House construction project which made dramatic progress over the weekend.

One component of my mother’s hospice care is music therapy, a portion of which I captured in the video below.

My mother was visited by her friends Mary Ann and Eduardo, from her Argentine Tango Community today. In preparation for their visit, she took a clipping from one of her plants and placed it in a water-filled vase as a gift for them. She then directed me to her stash of red wine bottles one of which was added to the gift bag along with a handwritten note. She enjoyed the visit immensely but was falling asleep by the end and rested comfortably for the rest of the afternoon.

Jeanine shared the photo below from her morning visit to Nicolai’s apartment where they all watched the World Cup final together. Her beret was not enough to help the French win but man can she rock a beret. In Minnesota, we were rooting for Argentina so Messi could cement his legacy. Perhaps it is best that we are in different parts of the country right now.

I spent most of the day with my mother as she enjoyed visits with all of her local family members.

This morning, I learned that my mother has been struggling with her recovery from pneumonia and that she is now receiving hospice care. I decided it would be best to book the next flight to Minneapolis. I arrived at the senior residence center where she is living by mid-afternoon. In between naps, I read to her messages from family members who cannot be here and set her up with my laptop so she could view images from her past. The image in the picture above is of her with my father atop a mountain in the Adirondacks. Her voice is extremely weak which has made it difficult to understand her at times but it is clear that her mind is as sharp as a tack. She has communicated to me her wishes for what comes next and I have shared them with immediate members of the family who have all been contributing to her care in so many ways.

I spent the evening at my brother’s house where we were joined by his four children and two girlfriends and a late-arriving childhood friend of the family.

In the River House, Jeanine’s office will be located directly over mine. We have taken to calling it the Aviary for reasons related to the development of our design over time. Initially, the space was going to be a screened-in porch which we tentatively named the Perch. Our first architect was not so keen on that descriptor and labeled it the Aviary on an early set of drawings. The name has stuck even though we changed the design to make it a fully conditioned space and part of the interior of the home. The room will have a large window directly over the one in my office offering a long view of the river and three more looking across it. The wall that will contain the latter set was erected today and I can’t wait to climb up there and test the view.