It has been 10 days since I last visited with my mother who is in Minneapolis recovering from surgery. When I left, she was in good spirits and able to ambulate with the aid of a walker. At age 90, she was well on her way to a full recovery. When her white blood cell count remained elevated, a CAT scan revealed a tangerine sized abscess in her abdomen, a manageable consequence of her surgery. During a procedure to drain it, her surgeon accidentally perforated her bowel. Faced with the prospects of a third surgery to address the perforation and a less than desirable best case outcome, my mother has decided to forgo any additional medical intervention. It is not impossible but highly unlikely she will recover. Tomorrow morning Maya, Kyle and I will fly to Minneapolis where we will meet up with Nicolai who is flying in from Colorado. There we hope to spend time with her, reminiscing about better days and sharing our love for her. As much as I agonize over losing her, I respect and admire my mother’s decision to die on her own terms, just as she lived her life.

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